Thomas fed their kids and then he set them in front of the television. James and Katya didn't usually spend vast amounts of time watching the telly since Thomas and Spectre liked keeping them more active than that, but this was a situation Thomas hadn't come up against before. He had no idea how to keep his kids busy while he had an important relationship conversation with his husband.
Spectre didn't come home until it was slightly past the kids bedtime. Both James and Katya were delighted that they got to stay up. When Spectre walked through the door, Thomas rose from the sofa and he told the kids to keep watching. "Spectre can I speak with you?"
Spectre, who had been on his way up to his studio, turned and he gave Thomas a slightly harassed look. "Uhm...is it going to take a while? I need to listen to a few demos and-"
Thomas' stomach lurched and he had to keep himself in check so he didn't bellow at Spectre right there in front of James and Katya. "It's important," he said, and then he strode up the stairs, expecting that Spectre would follow.
Thomas was sitting on their bed when Spectre walked in, placing his guitar case beside the door. "Alright, Thomas. What's going on?"
Where in the world was he supposed to start? Thomas licked his lips, his mouth suddenly feeling very dry. Now that he had Spectre's full attention for the first time in months, he didn't know what to do with it. "Er..." Thomas cleared his throat and he crossed his arms, wrapping them around him somewhat protectively. "The other day while you were out, Erin came around and..." Thomas shook his head. Should he really start this explaining that he kissed Erin? "You're gone a lot."
Oh good start, Thomas.
Spectre arched his eyebrow and he moved to sit at their desk, swivelling the chair around to face his husband. "I'm working, Thomas."
"No, I know," Thomas sighed heavily. "I got nervous and I...I didn't mean it to come out like that. I know you're busy, but I...I feel like I haven't seen you in months."
Spectre sat quietly, and Thomas watched him, wondering if he was supposed to say something. Just before he broke the silence because it couldn't stand it any more, Spectre broke it for him. "I don't exactly feel like I have anything to come home to when you park yourself in front of the television and watch re-runs of QI instead of coming to bed. So why come home?"
Thomas felt like yelling that he had only started to sleep on the sofa after Spectre had started acting like an ass, but he stayed his anger. "I didn't think you wanted to share a bed with me, Adrian. That's all."
"It's not like you gave me the chance," Spectre hissed back, getting agitated. Thomas knew Spectre didn't handle confrontation well so he tried his best to be the calm one, raising his hands to show he wasn't trying to be argumentative.
"You've been touring a lot and recording late nights and-"
"Well someone has to make money to support the kids!" Spectre growled at Thomas and that was when Thomas' attempts to calm himself failed.
He couldn't believe his ears. "I had a job!" he yelled back at Spectre. "I had a job I loved and I had to quit it so someone could stay with those kids while you were out of the house all the time, working on three projects at once!"
"They're your kids!" Spectre yelled back, causing Thomas' jaw to drop. He was sick enough of being treated like he didn't matter, but no one treated his kids like they didn't matter. Spectre had adopted both James and Katya anyway.
"Don't you dare!" Thomas shouted. "Don't you fucking dare just treat them like they're nothing!"
"They're not nothing, but they are your kids, Thomas!"
"I- They're our children, dammit! And I don't resent staying here with them at all, but don't tell me you're taking so much work just to support our family and don't you dare fucking guilt me for not working. There is no financial reason you would have to do three projects at once! You're avoiding being home! It's like...now that I don't disappear on you, you don't give a shit that I'm here! You have a full-time relationship now, Adrian! You should fucking act like it!"
"And you have a full-time relationship too! Yet all you care about is James, Katya and Marie!"
"I told you to leave them out of it!" Thomas bellowed.
"How can I, Thomas!?"
"I cannot believe you resent the time I spend with our children. It's not like you're there at all. Someone should be! They deserve that! I got abandoned by my father and it fucking feels like shit, okay?"
"Oh don't even try to play the 'who had a worse' father game with me," Spectre hissed back, jumping up from his chair and pacing the room. "I'm not abandoning them-"
"What do you call never being home?" Thomas' voice had continued to rise and now he was yelling so loud the neighbors could probably hear.
"I call it being a musician! You knew that before you married me!"
"Yeah, well I didn't know you were going to be a fucking cunt about it," Thomas growled at him.
Spectre looked shocked that Thomas had said such a thing, and immediately Thomas felt sorry for using such words. And then Spectre made him less sorry. "And you wonder why I wouldn't want to come home to you. You make me feel horrible for making a living-"
"No! I never ever said a word against your living! I don't mind that you have to tour or record your albums, but three at a time? Does your family mean anything to you?!"
"Of course it does!"
"Well I've got news for you, Adrian! You don't get to be a good father just because you don't starve and mentally torture your kids. Which...thank you. But you have to be there for them too! And you haven't been. You haven't been here for any of us! And I know you know how that feels because I used to have to leave you and I know that sucked! How the fuck do you think I feel now! You're choosing to be gone!"
"Why would I be here when this is what I come home to!?"
"This is the first time I've mentioned it!"
"Oh, you mentioned it before, you just didn't use words," Spectre glared at him.
"Just like you mentioned you didn't feel like spending time with your family!" Thomas accused Spectre. "I feel like you don't want me any more. Fuck, Adrian. Erin was here the other day and she kissed me and she made me feel wanted. You never make me feel wanted!"
"Neither do you, you cheating bastard! How could you do this to me again!"
"I didn't!" Thomas growled in frustration and then he turned around and saw James standing in the doorway. The little boy was staring at his fathers, his eyes huge and round. "Oh...oh god, James-"
James backed away from the door and he shook his head. "Leave me alone!" the little boy yelled, running from the room as he burst into tears.
Both Thomas and Spectre started forward and Thomas hissed, "don't you go near him!" as he left the room to find his son. This fight would have to wait.